Family dynamics and expectations change with every generation. And a perceived rise in estrangements between adult children and their parents is the latest shift that could have an impact on the housing market and intergenerational wealth transfer.
According to some reporting and anecdotes from experts, more adult children are estranged from or going “no contact” with their parents.
Estrangement is difficult and complicated for many reasons, but one major downstream effect is what happens to assets such as real estate and proceeds from home sales when a family’s bonds are broken.
As the Great Wealth Transfer sends trillions of dollars from older generations to younger folks, disinheritance means substantial sums of money may go in different directions than expected, if the parents decide to redirect it.
What estrangement means for any one family depends on its circumstances.
Why estrangement may be on the rise
It’s difficult to pin down exactly how prevalent a trend like estrangement among family is. One YouGov poll from 2025 says that 16% of American adults are estranged from their parents and that the children are twice as likely to cut off contact from their parents than vice versa.
“I’ve certainly noticed an uptick in parent-children estrangement and disinheritance,” says Evan Farr, a certified elder law attorney and retirement planner in Virginia, Maryland, and Washington, DC. “But it's still quite rare. However, it shows up in client meetings and consultations far more frequently than it did 10 or 15 years ago.”
The YouGov poll cites abuse, manipulative behavior, and lies or betrayal as the most common reasons for estrangement of children from their parents. The Wall Street Journal argues that the rise is partly due to the increased use of words like “toxic” and “abusive” to describe familial relationships.
For his part, Farr notes that several factors may be at play, including cultural changes. However, the most common scenario he sees is parents disinheriting children over their choice of partner.
“The parents then believe that their child is either being taken advantage of or controlled by a ‘bad’ son-in-law or daughter-in-law and ultimately decide to disinherit their child,” he says.
How estrangement affects inheritance
Because estrangement has no legal status, it doesn’t change who inherits, the way a deliberate estate plan does.
“An estranged child typically has the exact same rights of inheritance as every other child, regardless of if the estranged child hasn't spoken to their parents in 20 years,” says Farr.
If one or both sides of the relationship truly wish to sever ties, it’s best not to leave any ambiguity.
“If a parent intentionally wants to disinherit a child, it needs to be done carefully and clearly under their state’s law,” says Pamela Garrett, an attorney and the owner of Law Mother Asset Protection & Estate Planning. “Simply leaving the child’s name out of a will can create questions about whether they were forgotten or intentionally excluded.”
On the flip side, estranged children may still need to take steps to wash their hands of their parents’ estate.
“Estrangement may end a relationship, but it doesn’t necessarily end the legal connection,” says Garrett. “Without an estate plan, the law may still give that child inheritance rights, even if the family hasn’t known where they are for years. If an heir truly doesn’t want the property, they may be able to disclaim the inheritance, depending on the circumstances and state law.”
Disclaiming an inheritance is complex, and the laws around it vary depending on where you live. Farr notes that in Virginia, if an estate plan doesn’t provide what happens next, “a disclaimed interest shall pass as though the disclaiming beneficiary had died ... which could result in the inheritance passing down to the beneficiaries’ own children, thus creating unforeseen and often undesired results.”
The big picture of homeownership
What and how much is at stake if older people won’t have their children as obvious heirs to their major assets, including their homes?
“More estrangement will mean more parents possibly redirecting their estates away from their children and toward grandchildren, other relatives, charities, or even friends who have played important roles in their lives,” says Farr. “It may also lead to more inheritance litigation—especially where one child is left substantially less than siblings or nothing at all.”
Many homeowners hold on to a house until death, and typically this can benefit their heirs. A “stepped-up basis” resets the home’s value for tax purposes to what it’s worth on the date of the owner’s death, so decades of appreciation can pass to the heirs free of capital gains tax. A home gifted during the owner’s life gets no such reset. An owner who sells while alive can exclude up to $250,000 of gain on a primary residence ($500,000 for married couples filing jointly), but anything above that is taxable.
Because the step-up goes to any heir, estrangement from a child doesn’t remove the incentive to hold. It weakens when the owner plans to give the home’s value away or spend it down.
“Some parents who become estranged from their children decide to spend more of their wealth during their lifetimes rather than preserving it for an inheritance,” says Farr.
For some owners, spending down could include selling the home, which would add to housing supply. Realtor.com® estimates that 13.9 million homes currently owned by baby boomers and the Silent Generation are expected to be released back into the market in the next 10 years, and even a small uptick could make a difference in inventory-strained markets on the coasts.
Making a clean break from a parent is complicated when big financial questions are still open. For adult children who wish to remain estranged, know that there still may be major legal and logistical questions to address at some point—not to mention the financial and emotional questions that arise when the family home needs to be sold or otherwise addressed after the parents die.
The parents, meanwhile, should make plans and not leave things open-ended. Even if reconciliation is possible and those plans may change again down the road, there are ways to get out ahead of additional tension and heartache.
“Sometimes,” says Garrett, “the better estate plan is to create a clear path for the property to be sold and the proceeds distributed rather than leaving your family to figure it out after you’re gone.”
https://www.realtor.com/news/trends/adult-kids-no-contact-wealth-transfer/
